Disconnected

I took a week off of social media. And I was shocked to learn how much things changed. I noticed some pretty terrible habits. In one week I learned a lot about myself.

I have heard others talk about their social media breaks and my thought was: “I don’t really have a problem with too much time on social media, I take breaks pretty often.” I’m sure you can see where this is going.

It started with a study on hearing God’s voice. Good friends, good topic and a lot of learning. I was ready for my week of giving the Lord more opportunities to speak to me, more on His time and less on mine. After all, I did just have a face-to-face with my schedule, I could surely find time for Him in it.

I got ready for bed and sat down to set my alarm for the morning. I wrote a few notes on my “notes” app, and then seamlessly opened up Facebook. While I was waiting for it to load (We live in a dead-zone for internet), I said quick prayer,

“Lord, thank you for this opportunity to look at how you speak tonight, how you share your love with us and how faithful you are. Teach me to be sensitive to your voice this week. Help me to lay down my distractions and listen. Let me keep this study in mind all week and learn to come closer to you, Amen.”

Facebook opened up and I started scrolling…you know how you go to check one thing and then thirty minutes later you don’t remember being baited in? Yep. That kind of scrolling.

Something got my attention and I looked up, blinking the haze out of my eyes. It wasn’t a full thirty minutes–it had only been fifteen, but it still shocked me.

Why do I always get sucked in to the bait? It’s not even uplifting. Politics and click-bait, recipes and ways to improve my house, none of it truly necessary. I was mildly annoyed with myself. What a terrible way to lose sleep. I did need to sleep, but Facebook had pulled me in to the world of at-your-fingertips-entertainment.

“I have to stop doing that.” I said aloud.

(It’s a good way to shut me out.) The Lord replied.

“What? I wasn’t trying to do that!”

(You weren’t trying to block me out. You were just looking, but it’s become habit. It takes up more time than you think. When checking for messages, texts, emails, or notifications is easy and habit for you, but spending time with me is hard, where is your heart? Where your treasure is there your heart will be also)

This was said with much love and compassion. To be honest, I need direct. I might miss the message any other way.

Instantly though, I did not like this implication. Nope. Not okay with that. I was putting social media above my relationship with the Lord? No, not my idol. I decided it was time for a break. I started with a week and it was much harder than I thought.

First I noticed that my muscles had a habit that I hadn’t caught. After checking anything on my phone I would automatically open my social media apps. Check time, check calendar, open Instagram. Use calculator, look up word, open Facebook. Bored? Check pinterest.

It took me a full two hours to realize I had to be more extreme than a decision. I didn’t want to delete the app fully. I am lazy when it comes to wanting to set up my settings and preferences…I didn’t want to have to re-do that all after a week. Maybe this was more telling than I gave it credit for…

Hmm. In any case I moved Facebook to the furthest corner on my phone. The app that took its place was opened on accident a dozen times that first day.

Oh no. I have a serious problem. I didn’t like the idea of facing the social media addiction I apparently had. Ouch.

It got a little bit better as the week went on, but I felt like a friend had gone on vacation. The connection to people was by far the thing I missed the most–like missing inside jokes with your friends because you have to work. That wasn’t all I noticed about the week though.

• I had less overall connections with people, but more one on one deep conversations.
• I had less “noise” in my headspace, and as a result felt more grounded.
• My phone battery emptied more quickly–I was constantly playing music or good messages while doing housework.
• I did more housework, and more baking.
• I was more motivated to “do” something wherever I was. I was not wondering what was going on in the social media world while trying to live in the actual world.
• I didn’t really miss anything. If I needed to know, someone found a way to get ahold of me.
• I did hear God’s voice more often.
• I heard more comments saying “I should do that” than I did putting down my ability for self-control
• I had more energy. This one surprised me.
• I had less struggle with who I am and who I’m not.

How can one little thing impact so much?

I love the way The Passion Translation puts this verse.

Social media isn’t bad, but it can become an addiction and a way to quiet what is going on. I would find myself trying to open the app anytime I got frustrated or upset. It became a way to self-medicate an issue.

I spent the week surprised by how often I would try to open the app “just to check.” So I had to look deeper. Each time I began to ask myself very seriously “why?” Everything from “nothing to do,” to “I don’t want to have that conversation.”

In fact I would say only 1 in 25 times that I picked up my phone was there an actual message.

I started the week convinced that I didn’t have a problem and it would be an easy week. It hasn’t been. Time for a change!

“Lord I thank you for today, for the way that you have gently opened my eyes to the things in life that I have been avoiding. Thank you for the time I got back this week, help me to remember this as I go on from here and make wise choices about the way I spend my time. Let me honor you with my actions and choices; they all reflect you. Help me to be a light and not just blend in…to do the hard things and lean on Your strength instead of hiding from the monsters. There is so much life to live and I don’t want to wake up and realize I haven’t been. Teach me to be still and hear Your voice in every day, and to keep you as my priority. Thank you for showing me the idols in my life that I can now destroy. Jesus thank you for loving me enough to show me hard things and walk me through them; for all the hard things you’ve guided me through already.

I know I don’t always put You first, but that isn’t my heart. Each of these walls You help me see? Help me also have the courage to break them down and leave myself fully exposed to your light and goodness. I give you my idols and I sit…Lord, I am listening, please speak. Amen”