Tasting the Difference

I am the queen of substitutions. At least I used to be back when I was baking all the time. I was the go-to person for at least a few frantic “Hey I’m out of..” phone calls. Most of the time I had the answer and saved some poor soul a trip to the store at 10 pm. I developed this skill by avoiding the twentieth trip to the store in one afternoon simply because I forgot unsweetened baking chocolate for the german chocolate cake. If you’re wondering…cocoa powder and oil is the substitute.

If a substitution exists for something in the kitchen… I’ve probably used it. No Baking powder? No problem! No eggs? Easy. It does start to get tricky when you add in the special diets and restrictions…but who doesn’t love a puzzle? A no-sugar, no-grain, nearly instant, single serving, high fat cinnamon roll? Just had one. There’s a substitution for everything.

And I did thoroughly enjoy the keto mug-cinnamon roll. However…If I could eat without consequence…I would instantly trade it for the chewy-yeasty goodness of a fresh-from-the-oven-coated-in-cream-cheese-butter-frosting homemade roll. As good as my copycat is…it isn’t the original. It’s real, but not authentic. In case you need to test this theory out…here are the links for both the  “copycat cinnabon cinnamon roll” and the “90 second keto mug cinnamon roll.”

Yet, there are some things that just don’t substitute well. Certain foods need to be homemade or name brand in order to stand up to our preferences. Mostly because of what we are accustomed to.

My grandpa used to tell us all the time, “Don’t take any wooden nickels.” Meaning… don’t be tricked by a cheap counterfeit. There is a time and a place for substitutions. Most of us wouldn’t consider the exchange of money one of those times. How about a bill that is just a little less than accurate?

Authenticity isn’t just for recipes and currency. How often do you consider the question”How are you?” I’ve been guilty of asking “How are you?” but not really being prepared for a real answer. I’ve also been guilty of saying “Fine” in response when someone asked authentically. It has become more of a “hello” than a question these days. But what if I took the time to care? Maybe I would be Jesus to someone. I try most often to not ask unless I actually want to know and am ready to listen genuinely for the answer. So for the record… if I ask how you are? I really want to know!

I was struck recently by how good I am at substituting and yet how little I like substituting certain things. I am kind of a coffee snob…I’d say recovering, but I’ve really only switched to decaf and I’m not apologetic about the freshness of the brew. I still can’t drink pre-ground grocery-shelf coffee. I avoid sugar and make what I can from scratch with Stevia, but fresh cake donuts on the farm…that is real temptation. I also have found that I like my coffee drinks a certain way. The more I get them made to a standard, the less I appreciate variety. Work hazard? Maybe. I can do chocolate chip cookies with cane sugar and molasses as a substitute for brown sugar but not all the time. I’m okay with a substitute only temporarily. If I am set to accepting only authenticity in food, currency, bills and people’s sincerity…then why is it so easy to get trapped by a substitute Christianity? What about believing in a counterfeit god?

Is there a substitution for the One True God? No. Am I substituting without realizing?

When I choose to do other things and make my prayer time quick so I can…run off to something temporary? Am I choosing an authentic god then? The answer is..if I am not choosing God, I am choosing something else.

I want no substitution.

I want the real Grace.

Not the world-breathed substitute of “self-dependance.”

I won’t settle for false miracles or momentary happiness. I have felt just a sliver of His love and I would rather have that and nothing else than settle for a substitute. Even this sliver of a real relationship with my Father is worth more than any sacrifice of pride or material belonging for bottled contentment.

I sometimes carelessly choose the false idols of looking put-together, or being most-helpful when I forget who I belong to. In my haste to finish everything and take part in everything…I forget the only thing. In my foolishness I don’t see the traps I am falling into!

Am I accepting a substitute Christianity? A checklist of pages to read and number of minutes to say a prayer in order to fulfill requirements as a substitute for being still in His presence? I may be wrong but I feel like most of the biblical instruction on what Christ-like living looks like is a heart issue. So wouldn’t my walk and its authenticity also be a heart issue?

When I am reading my bible, am I falling into the trap of thinking about my to-do list instead of listening with patient ears for what my Heavenly Father has for me?

My mind flies. It takes so much concentration sometimes. And that’s me trying to wrestle my flesh under control in order to…earn…gain…strive..do better?

I sigh, “The spirit is willing Lord…” but is it?

Ouch. Am I being completely honest about being willing if I am not willing to sacrifice my time for Him?

Isn’t it as easy and hard as…”Thy will be done?” The kingdom is upside down, so failing somewhere doesn’t mean try harder, it means give more over. Surrender more. Admit my weakness. If I give Him my time first…won’t my Father who provides breath for me, also help organize my day? He has before!

I long for an authentic relationship with Christ. No walls, no me, just an open heart-flow straight to the Father. I fall into the trap of substitution. I am the queen sometimes. I have silenced the noise in my mind for a few minutes, gotten distracted, said a quick prayer bringing my quiet time to premature close and gotten on with my day. Knowing in my heart that I cut my time short with the Father. I substitute true forgiveness and surrender of heart issues for a quick…”Oh fine, I forgive them.”

I substitute purposeful bible reading for a quick 1 chapter. I substitute caring for those around me with eye contact and a quick smile.

It hurts to think about, but what kind of friend would it make me if I always rushed our conversations to run off to the next thing? If I always agreed to what sounded like the “expected” answer in order to smooth things over? Ouch. This rest-in-Him thing…I am learning but I am using all the Grace right now.

How abundant is His Grace for me; His Grace for my blundering through this life as I try to learn. Trying to strive and gain all this knowledge and wisdom when really He is waiting to share it with me if I would be authentic and still.

The perfectionist in me seems to think that if I am choosing not to take the time for my relationship with Christ, there is a quick catch-up method to make up for it. The truth is…there is no substitute for quiet time spent with the Lord seeking His face and His answers.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength”

1 Corinthians 1:25

I know better. I have felt it deep. So I choose to accept Grace and be authentic for Him.

If I don’t want to go to the store I can find a substitute. If I don’t want to lay down my pride to forgive? There is no substitute. There is no deception in Christ. I cannot deceive Him in my intentions. He is quick to forgive me no matter how many times I miss the mark, or run out. I am thankful for His words. For His wisdom.

This isn’t about me being better or doing greater or even earning back His trust. He has always seen every part of me. What thought or intention can I hide? He knows, and there is incredible freedom in that! Even if I wanted to hide the worst parts of me I cannot there is nothing for me to do except admit that I am a sinner. I am achingly human. He sees and loves me anyway; loved me first. So when I start to struggle with guilt and less-than honest intentions…He is strong. He is sure. He is greater.

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world!”

John 16:33

So when I am starting to crumble under the worlds pressure or my own…His strength. When I am starting to doubt…His wisdom

When I feel less than lovable. His Love and Grace.

No substitution.